Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
A Prince SEBU Original
24 is a ball hog,
Number 8 was too.
LeBron is greater than Kobe,
And also better than you.
His teams were better than LeBron's,
So he has 4 rings.
When it comes to basketball skill,
NO ONE compares to The King's.
Congratulations Kobe,
You had great seasons.
But this Kobe-LeBron debate
Has no valid reasons.
Shout out to all my witnesses,
Boogey-D, Big L, and Hags.
To all the Kobe fans,
Put your heads in bags.
Your arguments are embarrassing,
And have been ever since.
King James for President
And Long Live The Prince.
Number 8 was too.
LeBron is greater than Kobe,
And also better than you.
His teams were better than LeBron's,
So he has 4 rings.
When it comes to basketball skill,
NO ONE compares to The King's.
Congratulations Kobe,
You had great seasons.
But this Kobe-LeBron debate
Has no valid reasons.
Shout out to all my witnesses,
Boogey-D, Big L, and Hags.
To all the Kobe fans,
Put your heads in bags.
Your arguments are embarrassing,
And have been ever since.
King James for President
And Long Live The Prince.
Friday, January 15, 2010
The Art of Bus-Boarding
Upon finishing my first week of the Spring semester, I remembered the one thing that makes my blood boil more than anything. The UB Stampede.
For those who don't know, The UB Stampede is our chain of buses here at UB that always tend to be packed.
Now the name "Stampede" is very appropriate when describing these buses, or better yet people boarding the buses. It can get quite dangerous out there but being the wonderful man that I am, I have organized some tips and skills to make your experience as pleasant and safe as possible.
These 6 tips can be used in any setting, so feel free to use them. If not, it is no longer my problem and you will be putting yourself in danger. The choice is yours.
Now, let us begin.
1. Be on time
We are starting off with a very important one. When I say this I am very serious. If you learn the schedule of the bus you can save yourself a lot of embarrassing/awkward moments. For instance, walking down to the bus, assuming you will catch it, then watching it pull away while everyone on the bus watches you sprint after it, then walking back to the bus stop where everyone quietly laughs at you. Being on time will not only prevent these kind of situations, but will also give you a head start when the bus door opens. Which leads me to my next tip.
2. Nice guys finish last
This is a very commonly used phrase, usually when referring to relationships. I have put a Club SEBU spin on it that should help you immensely. What I mean by this is, nice guy tendencies must be thrown away for the brief time you are boarding the bus. If you chose to let every cute girl slip in front of you, I can assure you that you will be standing for the entire bus ride (see later tip for "Tips to Standing"). I have listed some ways to channel the rudeness needed to be successful.
3. Be resourceful/ intelligent
You must use your smarts and your environment to your advantage. It will serve you well in the long run. If you are at one of the doors and it is packed, simply say "They opened the other door!". Subconsciously, at least a dozen of the hyenas will rush to be the first to the other door, giving you an opportunity to advance toward the bus. That could be dangerous but it is worth a shot. Disguise your voice and make sure no one knows you said it. If not, you will be a wanted man. Another resource is a little creepier but efficient nonetheless. When the football linemen come through, say thank you to God and do as they do. Since everyone will move and let them on the bus first, position yourself right behind the last one. Get close enough so that the untrained eye will assume you are a wide receiver or defensive back, but not too close as you could run into them and make them angry. The last thing you EVER want are angry linemen.
At this point you have probably made it on to the bus and think the war has ended. False. The battle is only heightened at this point. It is time to find a seat.
Just for some background...
For those who don't know, The UB Stampede is our chain of buses here at UB that always tend to be packed.
Now the name "Stampede" is very appropriate when describing these buses, or better yet people boarding the buses. It can get quite dangerous out there but being the wonderful man that I am, I have organized some tips and skills to make your experience as pleasant and safe as possible.
These 6 tips can be used in any setting, so feel free to use them. If not, it is no longer my problem and you will be putting yourself in danger. The choice is yours.
Now, let us begin.
1. Be on time
We are starting off with a very important one. When I say this I am very serious. If you learn the schedule of the bus you can save yourself a lot of embarrassing/awkward moments. For instance, walking down to the bus, assuming you will catch it, then watching it pull away while everyone on the bus watches you sprint after it, then walking back to the bus stop where everyone quietly laughs at you. Being on time will not only prevent these kind of situations, but will also give you a head start when the bus door opens. Which leads me to my next tip.
2. Nice guys finish last
This is a very commonly used phrase, usually when referring to relationships. I have put a Club SEBU spin on it that should help you immensely. What I mean by this is, nice guy tendencies must be thrown away for the brief time you are boarding the bus. If you chose to let every cute girl slip in front of you, I can assure you that you will be standing for the entire bus ride (see later tip for "Tips to Standing"). I have listed some ways to channel the rudeness needed to be successful.
- Be assertive/committed - If you see a gap that you can fit in, take it. Don't hesitate, and don't stop until you have made it on the bus.
- Do not make eye contact with anyone - Just like driving, if you have made a mistake, act as if nothing happened. If you budge, and look at the person you just cut off, that leaves room for argument which could cost you your place. You are in the wrong so do not draw attention to yourself. Make moves and keep it moving.
- Box out - This is a little more advanced but highly effective. If you have obtained your position within the pack of lions, hold your ground. If someone tries to "Be assertive/committed", it is perfectly legal to widen your stance, slightly throw your butt into their gut (very subtly to avoid problems) and prevent them from slipping in front of you. Make sure that they are pinned behind you and their only way to the bus is through you. Hopefully they are not a savage and will not run through you.
- Never converse and Board at the same time - This is similar to drinking and driving. You cannot focus. If you talk, people will take advantage and cut in front of you.
- Use your resources - Poles, garbage cans, other kids, etc, can all be used as obstacles for your opponents. Position yourself so that you have a clear way to the door, while the others have to avoid your boobie-trap.
3. Be resourceful/ intelligent
You must use your smarts and your environment to your advantage. It will serve you well in the long run. If you are at one of the doors and it is packed, simply say "They opened the other door!". Subconsciously, at least a dozen of the hyenas will rush to be the first to the other door, giving you an opportunity to advance toward the bus. That could be dangerous but it is worth a shot. Disguise your voice and make sure no one knows you said it. If not, you will be a wanted man. Another resource is a little creepier but efficient nonetheless. When the football linemen come through, say thank you to God and do as they do. Since everyone will move and let them on the bus first, position yourself right behind the last one. Get close enough so that the untrained eye will assume you are a wide receiver or defensive back, but not too close as you could run into them and make them angry. The last thing you EVER want are angry linemen.
At this point you have probably made it on to the bus and think the war has ended. False. The battle is only heightened at this point. It is time to find a seat.
Just for some background...
The Anatomy of the UB Stampede
2 Doors
40 Seated
20 Standees
2 Doors
40 Seated
20 Standees
As you can see, there are limited spots on the bus so you must be wise.
4. Have no preferences
When arriving on the bus, swallow your pride and take any seat available. Do not look for friends or for a particular seat. Once you do that, all the seats you wanted will be taken, and when you turn around to take one you have passed up, it will be taken as well. At this point, you will be standing.
5. No questions, just sit
Just like while boarding the bus, the minute you ask questions you have declared yourself vulnerable. The vultures on the bus can sense your fear and will do whatever it takes to make you stand. If you want to ask any questions, make sure they are after you have already sat down and got comfortable. Do anything to avoid standing.
4. Have no preferences
When arriving on the bus, swallow your pride and take any seat available. Do not look for friends or for a particular seat. Once you do that, all the seats you wanted will be taken, and when you turn around to take one you have passed up, it will be taken as well. At this point, you will be standing.
5. No questions, just sit
Just like while boarding the bus, the minute you ask questions you have declared yourself vulnerable. The vultures on the bus can sense your fear and will do whatever it takes to make you stand. If you want to ask any questions, make sure they are after you have already sat down and got comfortable. Do anything to avoid standing.
In the case that you have to stand, first and foremost, I am sorry because it is not fun. Secondly, stay as composed as possible. It is roughly 5 minutes, and the more relaxed you are, the better. Following are tips for standing as promised earlier in the Blog.
6. Standing is not cool
Do not try and make standing look fashionable or easy because it is not. It is a workout. Those who want to add a little "swag" to standing will find themselves grabbing for dear life as the bus takes off. I've seen it happen and yes it is embarrassing. When you have found out that you are standing, locate the handles above your head and firmly grab onto them. They are put there for a reason. Get into a good athletic stance and prepare yourself. If you do not want to use the handles, I can promise you one thing. You will drop your belongs, your knees will buckle as you shoulders jerk back, and you will end up on someones lap, uninvited. Don't risk the embarrassment. It is not fun.
I hope you take this seriously and put some of the tips to good use. It is worth it. I know it is kind of late, but this is my Christmas/ Hanukkah/ Kwanzaa/ any holiday gift to all of you. If these tips do not work, I will be giving out personal lessons in The Art of Bus-Boarding by appointment only. As always my little monsters, you have been great. It was a pleasure to advise you. Good day to you all and until next time embrace the Martian.
Long Live The Prince
6. Standing is not cool
Do not try and make standing look fashionable or easy because it is not. It is a workout. Those who want to add a little "swag" to standing will find themselves grabbing for dear life as the bus takes off. I've seen it happen and yes it is embarrassing. When you have found out that you are standing, locate the handles above your head and firmly grab onto them. They are put there for a reason. Get into a good athletic stance and prepare yourself. If you do not want to use the handles, I can promise you one thing. You will drop your belongs, your knees will buckle as you shoulders jerk back, and you will end up on someones lap, uninvited. Don't risk the embarrassment. It is not fun.
I hope you take this seriously and put some of the tips to good use. It is worth it. I know it is kind of late, but this is my Christmas/ Hanukkah/ Kwanzaa/ any holiday gift to all of you. If these tips do not work, I will be giving out personal lessons in The Art of Bus-Boarding by appointment only. As always my little monsters, you have been great. It was a pleasure to advise you. Good day to you all and until next time embrace the Martian.
Long Live The Prince
Club SEBU Shout Out of the Week
This will probably be the shortest, yet by far THE most important shout out ever given.
This weeks Club SEBU Shout Out of the Week goes to...
LeBron Raymone James, also known as King James.
Self Explanatory.
Long Live The King
Kobe will never receive this honor.
Long Live The Fans
This weeks Club SEBU Shout Out of the Week goes to...
LeBron Raymone James, also known as King James.
Self Explanatory.
Long Live The King
Kobe will never receive this honor.
Long Live The Fans
Friday, January 8, 2010
Club SEBU Shout Out of the Week
This week we have our first criminal as a recipient. The honoree of the week is a two time Club SEBU Shout Out offender.
Unlike any other crime in the world, one is rewarded for a crime like this. I encourage this kind of law-breaking. It makes a much more beautiful living environment for everyone.
I am honored as well as privileged to announce this week’s Club SEBU Shout Out to none other than the King himself. The self-proclaimed “L-Murda”: Loic Sebuharara.
To receive this award twice is almost as impossible as flying, or beating me in a steel cage match (this will never happen). King LaJuic has accomplished a phenomenal feat.
The King has given me numerous suggestions to enhance the Club SEBU experience such as adding more pictures to the Club’s Facebook group, so fans can see The Artist Currently Known as Prince. He has also been giving full analysis and feedback on every blog I have written since the early stages of my blogging career. I commend him on his efforts to stay on top of the most important electronic scripture to date, which is Club SEBU.
Congratulations yet again Dr. Sebuharara. With this achievement, you have reached doctoral status in our institution. Your commitment has been the best non-textual dissertation I have ever witnessed.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King. (Triple H Clause)
Until next time, keep working on your free throws.
Long Live The Fans
Zwollow Entertainment
Unlike any other crime in the world, one is rewarded for a crime like this. I encourage this kind of law-breaking. It makes a much more beautiful living environment for everyone.
I am honored as well as privileged to announce this week’s Club SEBU Shout Out to none other than the King himself. The self-proclaimed “L-Murda”: Loic Sebuharara.
To receive this award twice is almost as impossible as flying, or beating me in a steel cage match (this will never happen). King LaJuic has accomplished a phenomenal feat.
The King has given me numerous suggestions to enhance the Club SEBU experience such as adding more pictures to the Club’s Facebook group, so fans can see The Artist Currently Known as Prince. He has also been giving full analysis and feedback on every blog I have written since the early stages of my blogging career. I commend him on his efforts to stay on top of the most important electronic scripture to date, which is Club SEBU.
Congratulations yet again Dr. Sebuharara. With this achievement, you have reached doctoral status in our institution. Your commitment has been the best non-textual dissertation I have ever witnessed.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King. (Triple H Clause)
Until next time, keep working on your free throws.
Long Live The Fans
Zwollow Entertainment
Thursday, January 7, 2010
The Locker Room
The Locker Room is one of the most important things in an athlete's life. A lot of time is spent in them so as an athlete I have become quite attached. I have been in many locker rooms but I have taken an extreme liking to my Track and Field one.
From 7th to 12th grade, I used the same locker in our high school track and field locker room. As a miniature Loic (he was in 12th grade while I was a 7th grader), I fought off his senior friends for this locker. Day in and day out, I made it very evident that my locker was MINE and absolutely no one was taking it from me. It was wonderful. It was my sanctuary and I was ready to go to war for it. I had all my spikes, a couple track bags, and anything else I needed for meets and practices. It was my home away from home. When I entered college, I was very excited to see my locker room so I could bond and become one with it.
Just my luck. There is no such thing as a locker room here at school unless your sport is Basketball, or Football.
This is my fair warning. Stay out of the "Track and Field" locker room!
First and foremost, it is not an exclusive locker room like previous teams mentioned. Our locker room is a public one. In layman's term everyone in the world is allowed in.
Viewer's Discretion advised.
I am not a greedy person at heart, but I find it a little unfair that while the other sports share their locker room with their teammates, we are forced to share ours with an influx of elder men who just happen to enjoy their bodies a little too much. When I say this, it means they feel that clothes is only necessary outside of the locker room. Furthermore, as they walk into the locker room, they leave their clothes at the door. Once they are in the "Track and Field" locker room, they always feel the need to talk to you about anything and everything...still without clothes. If there is one thing more uncomfortable than changing in front of random men, it is changing in front of them while they talk to you...still clothes-less.
I am sorry if I have put any disturbing images into your mind, but this is the grave reality that I have to deal with. Life is rough. Hopefully an actually locker room is in our near future. If not, I will just have to continue wearing spandex, everyday underneath my outfits.
I also apologize for the grotesque depiction of the Track and Field locker room, but as promised in the title of these Blogs, Club SEBU is the Chronicles of my life in Buffalo. Raw and uncut. Until next time my little monsters, show me your teeth.
Long Live The Prince
From 7th to 12th grade, I used the same locker in our high school track and field locker room. As a miniature Loic (he was in 12th grade while I was a 7th grader), I fought off his senior friends for this locker. Day in and day out, I made it very evident that my locker was MINE and absolutely no one was taking it from me. It was wonderful. It was my sanctuary and I was ready to go to war for it. I had all my spikes, a couple track bags, and anything else I needed for meets and practices. It was my home away from home. When I entered college, I was very excited to see my locker room so I could bond and become one with it.
Just my luck. There is no such thing as a locker room here at school unless your sport is Basketball, or Football.
This is my fair warning. Stay out of the "Track and Field" locker room!
First and foremost, it is not an exclusive locker room like previous teams mentioned. Our locker room is a public one. In layman's term everyone in the world is allowed in.
Viewer's Discretion advised.
I am not a greedy person at heart, but I find it a little unfair that while the other sports share their locker room with their teammates, we are forced to share ours with an influx of elder men who just happen to enjoy their bodies a little too much. When I say this, it means they feel that clothes is only necessary outside of the locker room. Furthermore, as they walk into the locker room, they leave their clothes at the door. Once they are in the "Track and Field" locker room, they always feel the need to talk to you about anything and everything...still without clothes. If there is one thing more uncomfortable than changing in front of random men, it is changing in front of them while they talk to you...still clothes-less.
I am sorry if I have put any disturbing images into your mind, but this is the grave reality that I have to deal with. Life is rough. Hopefully an actually locker room is in our near future. If not, I will just have to continue wearing spandex, everyday underneath my outfits.
I also apologize for the grotesque depiction of the Track and Field locker room, but as promised in the title of these Blogs, Club SEBU is the Chronicles of my life in Buffalo. Raw and uncut. Until next time my little monsters, show me your teeth.
Long Live The Prince
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Facebook Anonymous 2.0: What's your status?
Where do I start? Facebook has taken the world by storm. It is the epitome of pop culture today. There is one thing that could possibly give Facebook a run for its money...Facebook statuses. I understand that the statuses are a part of Facebook, but they have taken on a life of their own. Over time, I've realized that everyone has a status, all of which lack originality and uniqueness. While surfing "the Book" (credits to King Loic for that nickname), I began to gather data to formulate my dissertation...What's Your Status : The case of Facebook.
One Blog would not serve justice for my flawless dissertation. I will in fact bullet some key facts I picked up on.
The first thing I observed was probably the most common status genre I saw.
I hope you enjoyed my introspective yet brief piece on Facebook statuses. I have just touched the tip of the iceberg on this topic and have left the floor open to discussion. Furthermore I would like to assure you that in my statuses, I strive to make articulate and thought-provoking statements derived from a long line of experience. In all actuality my statuses are as meaningless as anyone else. Nevertheless, keep likeing and commenting on them because it does bring slight happiness and gratification on the plethora of brilliant statuses crafted by the Prince.
As always my beloved fans and adored monsters, thank you for your time. I hope no one has taken offense to this post as that was not my initial intent. If so, there is nothing I can do. I'm only human. (Will You Be There, Free Willy Soundtrack). Until next time, I am the man of the hour...for 24 hours.
Long Live The Prince
One Blog would not serve justice for my flawless dissertation. I will in fact bullet some key facts I picked up on.
The first thing I observed was probably the most common status genre I saw.
- Song Lyrics
- Everyone wants to be single
- Text/Hang out with me
I hope you enjoyed my introspective yet brief piece on Facebook statuses. I have just touched the tip of the iceberg on this topic and have left the floor open to discussion. Furthermore I would like to assure you that in my statuses, I strive to make articulate and thought-provoking statements derived from a long line of experience. In all actuality my statuses are as meaningless as anyone else. Nevertheless, keep likeing and commenting on them because it does bring slight happiness and gratification on the plethora of brilliant statuses crafted by the Prince.
As always my beloved fans and adored monsters, thank you for your time. I hope no one has taken offense to this post as that was not my initial intent. If so, there is nothing I can do. I'm only human. (Will You Be There, Free Willy Soundtrack). Until next time, I am the man of the hour...for 24 hours.
Long Live The Prince
Friday, January 1, 2010
Club SEBU Shout Out of the Week
This week I have ventured to the NBA to find the weeks shout out.
As I made my hourly visit to NBA.com, I stumbled upon a very uplifting and inspiring story. The first Club SEBU Shout Out of 2010 is being awarded to Nate Robinson of the New York Knickerbockers.
After an ill advised basket on the opposing basketball team's hoop back on December 1, Nate had been benched for 14 games for what seemed to be child-like behavior. An unfortunate situation turned into a motivating scenario.
On January 1, 2010, in his first game back, "Krypo"-Nate showed the world that he still had the excitement. Mr. Robinson had 41 points on 18-24 shooting which is roughly 75% from the field. That's very good for you non-basketball fans. He also had 8 assists and 6 rebounds. Truly a monster games.
Congratulation Nate Robinson. You brought brief light in an otherwise horrible New York Knick season, as usual.
Happy New Year
Long Live The Fans
Club SEBU Shout Out of the Week Honorable Mention
As I made my hourly visit to NBA.com, I stumbled upon a very uplifting and inspiring story. The first Club SEBU Shout Out of 2010 is being awarded to Nate Robinson of the New York Knickerbockers.
After an ill advised basket on the opposing basketball team's hoop back on December 1, Nate had been benched for 14 games for what seemed to be child-like behavior. An unfortunate situation turned into a motivating scenario.
On January 1, 2010, in his first game back, "Krypo"-Nate showed the world that he still had the excitement. Mr. Robinson had 41 points on 18-24 shooting which is roughly 75% from the field. That's very good for you non-basketball fans. He also had 8 assists and 6 rebounds. Truly a monster games.
Congratulation Nate Robinson. You brought brief light in an otherwise horrible New York Knick season, as usual.
Happy New Year
Long Live The Fans
Club SEBU Shout Out of the Week Honorable Mention
- LeBron James - 48 points, 10 rebounds, 6 assists, 2 blocks, 2 steals on his 25th birthday.
- Jimmer Fredette - 49 points, 9 assists, 7 rebounds
- New Jersey Nets - recorded their 3rd win of the season. Nets Nation stand up
- Matthew Gorny - 3rd degree Manslaughter against my team in Fantasy Basketball. Final score 583-381
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